Cape May. August 1994. I lounge on a blue-and-yellow striped beach chair, a dusting of grit stuck to my sunscreen-slathered legs, my feet burrowed into sand. Immersed in a book, I bask in the sun, getting up periodically to dip into the water. My husband digs a hole in the beach with his bare hands. Into that hollow, my 1- and 3-year-old sons toddle, brandishing toy shovels, digging and piling sand into yellow construction equipment: a cement mixer, a bulldozer, a dump truck. I’m amused by their concentrated industriousness.
When not on the beach, we climb the lighthouse and marvel over the beach and town sprawled beneath us. We cook dinners in. I am happy yet overwhelmed by motherhood. I fiercely love my children, but in the process of loving them, I’ve lost all sense of myself.
Driving through the beach town in our blue Chevy van, chock-full of car seats and beach paraphernalia, I glimpse colorful Victorian houses blur past the window. The charming town, with its promise of candlelit dinners in Victorian inns, will have to wait for another time.
I tell my husband I’d love to come back one day without our children: to stroll on the beaches and through marshland, wander aimlessly through town, pop into shops, stay in a cozy bed-and-breakfast.
December 2017. Twenty-three years later. I need an escape. My youngest son, 25 and living under our roof, has become a force to be reckoned with. After an upsetting altercation, I decide it is time to take care of myself. After all, memory beckons: those Victorian houses, windswept beaches, billowing sea grasses, marshes and shore birds, seafood and ice cream. Oh yes, and, north of Cape May is that crazy amusement park, Wildwood, which might flash its bawdy vintage signs despite being closed in winter. Inspired by John’s Instagram, which features vintage American icons in Arizona, I’m interested in rediscovering Americana. My getaway won’t be to Arizona, but to the Jersey shore; only a 4 1/2-hour drive, it’s close enough for a two-night escape. There will be no romantic dinners this time because I’m going alone. It’s time to pamper myself.
On this southernmost point of New Jersey shore jutting into the Delaware Bay and the Atlantic, I can meander on a deserted wind-swept beach, lingering in memories of my little boys when they were untarnished by the world — so innocent, so industrious.
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“THE CALL TO PLACE” INVITATION: I invite you to write a 500-word (or less) post on your own blog about what enticed you to choose a recently visited or a future destination. If you don’t have a blog, I invite you to write in the comments. If your destination is a place you love and keep returning to, feel free to write about that. If you want to see the original post about the subject, you can check it out here: imaginings: the call to place.
Include the link in the comments below by Wednesday, March 28 at 1:00 p.m. EST. When I write my post in response to this challenge on Thursday, March 29, I’ll include your links in that post. My next post will be about Nashville, Tennessee.
This will be an ongoing invitation, once weekly through March, bi-weekly in April, and monthly after that. Feel free to jump in at any time. 🙂
I hope you’ll join in our community. I look forward to reading your posts!
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the ~ wander.essence ~ community
I invite you all to settle in and read a few posts from our wandering community. I promise, you’ll be inspired!
- Jo, of Restless Jo, writes of her enthusiasm for her recent trip to Jerez de la Frontera, in Andalucía, Spain. I love her words: “I’m sure I must have gypsy blood somewhere in the ancestry. The rhythmic stamp of that foot and the proud arch of the neck has me on the edge of my seat, breathing suspended, totally in the moment. Who wouldn’t travel for this?” Read more about her excitement over the Festival of Flamenco and the dancing horses at the Royal Andalusian School of Equestrian Art. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to go. 🙂
- Jude, of Travel Words, shares her call to move to West Penwith during a visit in 2015. Her dream has come true, and she now lives there. Her words are captivating: “I am enchanted by the landscape where the sea and the sky become one, a land littered with history, where the past is always present.” And she goes on, with delightful descriptions and photos. Can I visit one of these days, Jude?
- Sue, of WordsVisual, shares her sense of place through two haiku in this piece from 2015. She attempted to climb Cadair Idris, a Welsh summit, but the weather didn’t allow for it. On that climb the black rock was “glowering” and “unfathomable.” On the other climb, it seemed it might be a success, but alas, it wasn’t to be: the last of the sunlight was “taunting.” I like to hope that she will get there one day, if not in physical reality, at least in her imagination.
Thanks to all of you who wrote posts about a call to place. 🙂
~ wander.essence ~ 
Lovely pictures!
And oh, memories of traveling with the children when they were little … for a second there I could smell the interior of our old Chevy and see myself fumbling with car seats.
I’ll have to try the challenge if I find the time. There are some travel posts on my blog, but I write far too much for those to qualify 😉
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Thanks so much, shiarrael. I looked at your blog and really enjoyed the story about the bully, especially this line: “whom no one has ever taught about honey and vinegar. About the courage to show your softer side, and the strength one finds at the heart of vulnerability.” I couldn’t find a place to comment or like, however, so I’m commenting here.
Those innocent days when the kids were young are very special memories, aren’t they?
If you can do the challenge, that would be wonderful. I’m always curious as to how people are called to travel to a particular place. The word count is mainly for myself, but for others too if they care to attempt to limit their posts. On my other blogs, I’ve always written too much; on this one I’m trying to limit my words and get to the essence of a place. The challenge is mainly for myself; also I’ve found people don’t take the time to read ultra-long posts these days. 🙂
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Thank you for stopping by 😀
That’s odd, that you couldn’t comment … maybe a hiccup? Were you logged in with WP? Sometimes it’s the layout and you have to click on the post itself rather than read it in that long queue (I fall into that trap myself a lot, which is why I prefer to use the WP Reader…)
Those innocent days when the kids were young…
Feels like yesterday, sometimes. But yes, they’re special indeed.
[…] also I’ve found people don’t take the time to read ultra-long posts these days
No kidding 😛
Well, the Denmark Saga is mostly for myself – a ‘jotting down memories’ kind of thing, though it was Cyranny who put me up to it. If people like it that’s fine, and I do have a few readers who seem to enjoy it.
But if you like short and sweet, my “Tu Felix Austria” one might qualify 😊
Anyways, happy to have found your blog and I’ll dig through my old photos to see what I can come up with for the challenge – it sounds like fun.
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I thought I had clicked on the post itself, and did so to check again, but I didn’t see any comment box. I was signed into WordPress, so I don’t know what happened.
If you’d like to include a link to the post you mention, please do here. I’ll be happy to check it out.
This challenge is all about why we choose to visit a place. Tomorrow I’ll have another one, more of an invitation than a challenge (I think I’ll change the wording), about anticipation and preparation for travels. Then I’ll have some later about the travel itself. Right now, this blog is still a work in progress – early stages. But then, I guess we all are that in some ways, aren’t we? Thanks so much for joining and commenting. 🙂
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Hrrrrrrm that is really odd.
Alright, giving Austria a try:
https://shiarrael.wordpress.com/2018/01/07/tu-felix-austria/
I like that idea, too – the anticipation and preparation. Looking forward to reading the posts, the ones you shared today were already terrific!
But then, I guess we all are that in some ways, aren’t we?
Truer words…. 😋
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I was able to comment this time on your blog. I must have done something right! Thanks for linking to your funny post about your family road trip. I enjoyed it! I’ll include your link in my post about Nashville next Thursday, March 29. This kind of post will fit perfectly with one of my future “invitations” to write about getting from here to there, or taking oneself along – the road trip is the perfect example. I’ll be doing a lot of posts about road trips, but things will evolve slowly. Keep an eye out for those.
I do admit to being a little lost though. What does “Tu felix” mean? 🙂
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I definitely will keep my eyeballs peeled 😄
The “Tu Felix Austria” is a catchphrase in Europe that I found both charming and fitting.
Literally it means “You fortunate Austria!”, because it’s a country that got lucky in many ways. Beautiful landscapes, great food, rich history. It’s also used to describe the people, who are perceived as easygoing, able to find enjoyment in little things (such as a good cup of coffee which is prepared with great care and ritual and blows Starbucks straight out of the water), and skilled at finding ways to make life even more enjoyable.
There is a good deal of truth in that stereotype, I found. 😉
I’m told it goes back to “Bella gerant alii, tu felix Austria nube.” (Let others wage war, you, fortunate Austria, marry”) and the Habsburg dynasty. The Habsburgs built an empire by being smart about marrying into the right families, and making powerful alliances.
But it’s used with the former meaning these days.
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Wow, thanks for educating me about Tu Felix Austria. How adorable that is. It’s funny, my husband and I were just in Hungary (Budapest), Vienna and the Wachau Valley, Cesky Krumlov and Prague in late September-early October of 2017. Though Vienna wasn’t my favorite, I’d love to explore further west in Austria, which I’m sure has all anyone could ever want. We loved our bicycle wine tour in the Wachau Valley. And we certainly learned a lot about the Habsburgs! Thanks for taking the time to tell me the meaning of that charming phrase. 🙂
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Oh, you were practically in my backyard 😋
Wachau is nice! Did you get to see the castle where Richard the Lionheart was imprisoned? But yes, I prefer the more westerly part of Austria, and the Italian alps. Not that I’m an expert, we just go wherever something looks interesting (“not all those who wander are lost…”)
Did you like Budapest? We’ve heard good things and thought about going, but ended up in Prague instead (which we loved). The best part of Vienna (for us horse girls) was the “Spanische Hofreitschule”
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Yes, I did see it. You mean Burgruine Dürnstein? My husband climbed up but I just saw it from below.
We loved Budapest and Prague. I missed the “Spanische Hofreitschule” sadly, as we only had 3 days in Vienna and one of them was on the wine tour. Too much to do in too little time!
So where is your backyard? 🙂
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Yes I think that was it. We were aimlessly exploring during our first year here when we stumbled across it. What I remember was that the view from up there was great and the Austrians were very friendly to bumbling tourists 😉
Well, I shall put Budapest back on the list, then. It would go nicely with a trip to the Puszta (spelling?) where they have beautiful horses. But you’re right, there’s the eternal “SO much to see, so little time” tragedy.
My “backyard” is USAG Bavaria. If you’d gone west from Prague, crossed into Germany, and ran into Americans with tanks about an hour later … I could have made you a cup of coffee!
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Mike said the view was great. We had climbed so many church domes and steeples during our trip, I just wanted to wander around the cute town while he climbed up. We were bicycling all day, so I wanted an easy stroll. I’m sure the Austrians were friendly!
If you want to see something about Budapest, you can check out my blog (I’m no longer writing new posts there): http://www.catbirdineurope.wordpress.com for our trip to Budapest, Sopron, Vienna, Cesky Krumlov and Prague.
Wow, nice to know where to find you, among the tanks in Germany, when we are able to visit there and western Austria in some future year (if you’re still there!).
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Oh, wow. Amazing pictures! Thank you for the link!
If we don’t PCS by then, drop me a message and I’ll fire up the old coffee maker 😉
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Thanks so much for your kind words! I definitely will do that when we make it back there, but it will likely be a number of years. You never know when our paths will intersect. 🙂
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What lovely little curly tops, Cathy! We’re never really the same once we’ve had kids, are we? Too much angst! But you’ve done a good job at finding yourself again, and who knows whether the newer model isn’t a better one. Mike might think so! It’s great to have you guys happy again. 🙂 🙂 I love that sunset lighthouse photo. We’ve just come back from a breeze up the coast and would you believe 3 lighthouses! Off I pop to read Sue’s post. Already seen Jude’s. Take care, darlin! Speak soon 🙂
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They were so sweet in those days, and so innocent and pliable, Jo. They are much more headstrong now, with their own ideas about life, but they’re still good-hearted young men, all told. Still, we want the best for them, and sometimes we have different ideas than they do as to what’s best.
As for me being a better model of myself, I think so for sure; I am much more confident and sure about myself than I was in those days! Mike and I both appreciate our individual growth during our years apart.
Wow, I can’t believe you saw three lighthouses. Did you climb every one? I need a coastal fix again. Talk to you soon, Jo! And thanks for contributing to this. 🙂
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None of them because we’d been to see a Roman fort (which I climbed 🙂 ) and were on our way home.
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One climb is plenty for one day, Jo! Sounds like you saw a lot! 🙂
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Love the memories, and those photos! And glad I could provide something!
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Thanks, Sue. Those photos are so old, and of course I had to scan them in, so I was a bit disappointed in the quality. But they did bring back happy memories. I’m glad you contributed something too. Thanks so much for that. 🙂
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You are most welcome, Cathy!
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I love the contrast between your two visits…how you enjoyed yourself both times but for different reasons. My revisits have been to places I experienced as a child and I definitely saw them in an entirely new light once I returned as an adult.
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Thank you so much, Bespoke Traveler. It is always fun to return to a place you’ve been as a child. I’m getting ready to do that myself for a trip to Colorado, my mother’s birthplace, in May. 🙂
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Memories! Those days of caring for little ones pass so quickly. As adults, ours are happy, pursuing their dreams and following their passions. They are independent young women and I can’t believe I’ll soon be the mother of a 31 year old. I hope you are finding more peace these days, Cathy and enjoying your travels, both on your own and with Mike.
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It’s funny, Carol, those days seemed to stretch out forever at the time, but then before we knew it they were over. You’re very lucky about your adult children. Either lucky or you were very good parents. My adult children are good people, but still not self-sustaining, except for my 33 (almost 34!) year-old daughter. My oldest son is slowly finding his way, and searching for his passion. The youngest seems to have lost his way; at least I think so; although he thinks he’s following his passion. It’s a big difference of opinion. But we have no control over him, so we work every day to let him go – with love. Now that he’s out of our house, I feel much more peaceful. I’m enjoying our travels and working on my projects. I’m getting very excited about our upcoming travels to the Four Corners beginning May 1! 🙂
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Lovely photos Cathy, and you are right, motherhood is overwhelming and changes you, no matter how hard you resist. But what wonderful photos of those two little boys. And thank you for the link. 🙂
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Thanks, Jude. Those were my pre-photography days, snapshots on film, and of course they came out pretty grainy in the scanning. I wish I could improve the quality of scanned photos.
Yes, motherhood does change you. I wasn’t prepared for it at all; I didn’t have good role models. Some people take to it better than others; it was a struggle for me; although I did love my little boys so much! I was happy to include your wonderfully descriptive post, Jude.
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I think the graininess adds to the nostalgic look. Some of my photos from way back then are dreadful even before being scanned!
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I like that: “the graininess adds to the nostalgic look.” I’ll go with that. 🙂 I have a bunch of photos to scan about my first huge road trip in 1979 with my first husband, when I’ll write about the quintessential American Road Trip. We’ll see how those turn out. They’re in pretty bad shape now!
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Ah yes, the same setting or place, with different characters, makes a huge difference. With children, Cape May is a wonderful family-friendly beach town. I rendezvoused in Cape May in early spring with my special guy early in our relationship – no kids – and stayed in one of those Victorian B and B’s. The memory of that weekend will linger forever. ❤
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I’m sure it was a whole different experience altogether. A romantic one! ❤ I went for healing and pampering this time, and I loved my time alone. I'll write more about that in the coming months. I loved the piece about you and your mother at the Jersey shore. I could just feel being there!
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[…] Linked to Cathy’s blog Wanderessence here […]
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[…] Fourteen years later, many things have changed, but our love for Tavira remains undiminished. Neighbours have come and gone. Our favourite cafe, Anazu, is now just a memory. The garden we started so optimistically has fallen victim to the weather. It’s time to move out there and give it the nurturing it deserves. I hope I’ve given you a sense of the place, and what draws me back. Many thanks to Cathy and her legion of ideas on how to enhance the travel experience. Please pay her a visit. […]
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Not sure if the link goes here, Cathy, or on the Call to Place page? You haven’t mentioned a hash tag but they’re everywhere these days so I’ve included one. Tell me if you want something different please. https://restlessjo.me/2018/03/28/my-place-in-tavira/
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You put the link in just the right place, Jo. I’ll now link to it in the post about Nashville that will publish tomorrow, since most people who read about Cape May here have already moved on. I like the hashtag idea. Great inspiration, Jo. By the way, I adore this piece; I’ll comment more about it on your blog. 🙂
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Thanks, darlin! Glad you like it. There are a few stories to tell. 🙂 🙂
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I’ve just come over from Jo’s blog. What beautiful photos and reminiscing and a lovely idea to trigger memories. Perhaps when I have more time I’ll join in.
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